Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
