Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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