people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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