I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
