Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
