he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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