I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
