I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
