I wish my penis had an off switch
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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