She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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