my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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