i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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