I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
