Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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