Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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