oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
