You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
