sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
