So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
