Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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