Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
