i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize