just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
