therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize