Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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