Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
