All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
