if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am naked and annoyed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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