she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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