Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
