Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
