is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
