Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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