Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am mentally ready for anal.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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