how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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