The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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