I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
