This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This baby is an asshole
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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