They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
