Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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