Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
