there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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