So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
