Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
