so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
