1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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