There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
