it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
