Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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