I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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