Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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