Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
