last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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