you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
