He felt like a one man threesome
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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