had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
