There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
my poor anus
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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