not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
