Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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