found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize