The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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