who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
