Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
