hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
