Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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