I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can't motorboat a personality
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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