sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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