a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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