you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
