I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
