So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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