did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
