i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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